I'm not one who absolutely has to leave the house everyday. Just not a huge deal to me if we stay in. I'm not one who craves adult interaction and conversation. It's always nice, but I actually don't go crazy from lack of it. And I'm definitely not one who's always looking forward to a break from my kiddos. I like being with my babies all the time, hence the reason they rarely spend the night away from me and I have a fear of not being a stay-at-home mom. Besides, when it comes to "breaks", I'm looking forward to dates/alone time with my husband or an occasional evening out with friends - not a break from my kids. Even though the 2 do in fact go together.
Well, in contradiction to everything mentioned above, last week I had the most severe case of cabin fever ever. And I'm still not fully cured of it. It made me lazy and unproductive, moody and irritable, crazy and emotional.... it made me let myself go. Gasp! It was not a pretty sight. And it all came to head Friday night when my husband came home from work with our take-out pizza, pepperoni-less. Who forgets to put pepperoni on a pepperoni pizza!? Ahhh. I literally shed a few tears over my devestation... until I got over it.
Last week was one of those weeks when the weather was either freezing cold or rainy and messy. When my baby boy who'd been sleeping through the night for almost a month decided it was time for a growth spurt and kept his daddy up way into the night and woke his mama up earrrly in the morning. (We've had 2 good nights back to back so maybe, hopefully we're in the clear.) When I literally had no motivation to get out of the house to do anything. There were no errands to run and nothing worth braving the cold or rain for. When, due to sleep deprivation, the snooze button was hit one too many times causing me to go without make-up a record 3 days last week. I showered every single day (just because I hate going a day without a shower, not because we had anywhere to go), but only wore make-up the 2 days I had to get out and be seen... the days Garrison had school. Wearing just a little make-up, even on the "staying home" days, is important to me. Helps me feel normal. And awake. And productive. Last week I was none of those... normal, awake, or productive. I just was. I went through the motions, I had a lot of play time with Garrison, I cooked supper and did a few loads of laundry. Other than that I was pretty much spinning my wheels. Feeling like I needed to get out and do something. Feeling like a bum. Feeling couped up in my messy house. Feeling overwhelmed by my babies, my house, Premier. And it was all caused by wretched cabin fever.
When Terrell got home with our pepperoni-less pizza Friday, I finally admitted, to myself more than anyone, that I was about to go crazy. I needed to get out of the house and I needed a break. Even a break from my boys. Gulp. I felt guilty as soon as it came out. I'm not sure I've ever felt or said out loud that I needed a break from them. Although I'm hoping it's perfectly normal. I had just reached my limit. I was so tired and so energy-less and so stir crazy... you get the idea.
Thankfully my hubby's long weekend at home, some nicer, warmer weather so Garrison could play outside, a few outings with the fam, some chores crossed off the to-do list, and a date planned for next Saturday helped snap me out of it. I'm still working on getting my energy back after being so sleep-deprived, and I'm still feeling a tad overwhelmed with everything on my plate at the moment; but I'm determined to get us out of the house more (despite the weather), and to enjoy my date with husband next weekend, and to start going to bed earlier (depending on how things go with Austin), and to get out of the house more again. Cabin fever- be gone!
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