Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Change of Plans

So about a week and a half ago we got some bad news concerning closing our house and having it officially sold. Nooooooo!

To make a long story short, there was a delay and "glitch" of sorts with the buyer's loan and we were looking at having to postpone the closing until January. It was SO discouraging and disappointing to hear. We were both on the verge of tears. We were so close and so ready to have it sold and start house hunting here and have that finanacial burden lifted and to just MOVE ON.

Even though living in the hometown is amazing, living in the rental house for this unknown stretch of time has made us feel as though our lives are kind of on hold. We don't have all of our stuff here... furniture, toys, decor, kitchen items, you name it. Half of our house, things that really make a house a home, are in boxes in the basement. Plus we aren't truly comfortable and at home here in this house. It's just been a challenge and has definitely come with some sacrifices. So to find out we couldn't close on schedule was really, really disappointing.

But we had hope. We had hope of renting our house to our buyer until we could officially close sometime in late January. It wasn't totally ideal but it was something we were hopeful about working out. Starting back at square one with our house on the market again is something we were trying very hard to avoid.

But then the buyer backed out... and starting over at square one became a reality... again. Insert lots and lots of tears.

We already had one contract on our house shortly after we listed that fell through. It didn't last long, but was still disappointing. So this made our second contract to fall through. Our second buyer to slip away. SO defeating.

Last Tuesday is when the buyer backed out and the contract was terminated. Talk about a tough day. Especially since I was flying solo that day and couldn't cry on Terrell's shoulder over how disappointed I was. The weekend before, when we found out the closing would have to be postponed until January, I had been a little emotional over my nerves and concerns and worries... but on Tuesday I just wanted to cry the ugly cry and have a meltdown and freak out over all the "bad" that could come from this. The financial burden, the being stuck here in the rental house, the keeping our lives on hold, the possibility of not being able to sell until next Spring, the limits and challenges it causes for my job (I'm now keeping 2 sweet babies multiple times a week), the FINANCIAL BURDEN. My mind was going crazy with doubts and fear and discouragement. But as a busy mama on my own that day, I let myself cry for like 2 minutes and then tried to get over it so I could focus on the boys and getting through the rest of the night in "thrival mode" instead of survival mode. Ha. Thankfully we had a pretty good night and they were a big distraction for me.

From Saturday (when we found out the closing would have to be postponed), til Tuesday (when we found out the contract was being terminated), I found myself whispering We trust You, Lord. We're so disappointed but we know this did not come as a surprise to You. We know You have a plan and we're trusting You, over and over again. And deep down I really meant every word. But on the surface I was struggling with my doubts and discouragement and anxiety big time. Ugh. Not fun.

So this past weekend when we went back to the house in Covington one final time (we hope), we said a prayer as a family standing there in our former home. We prayed God would send buyers soon. A family, couple, or individual who would love our house and whose needs would be met through our house. We're praying specifically for God to bring us a buyer before Christmas. The end of the year has always been our mental goal, however, we know the real estate market slows down significantly during the months of November, December, and January... so we also know our goal might not be totally realistic. But that's where our faith comes in.

Things aren't working out according to OUR plan, but they are working out according to God's plan. He has orchestrated every single detail and is not panicked or flustered or nervous. He has the whole situation under His complete and sovereign control and we are trusting Him.

Even though we're super disappointed and bummed and even confused about why things aren't working out just like we've hoped and prayed for, we know He is faithful.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and mind in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

These are the verses I keep thinking about. When fear and doubt and worry creep in, the Holy Spirit puts these verses on my heart and in my mind.

This change of plans is not what we wanted. Especially since we had our eye on a house here that may be too late for us to make an offer on. (Cue another huge disappointment! Ugh.) It's definitely discouraging and most certainly creates some issues and challenges for us, but it's not anything God can't handle and work out for our good and His glory. And we know this. Despite our discouragement and disppointment and occasional pity parties we KNOW God has a plan and that it's all going to work out. He provided the great job, He provided a way for us to move before selling our house, He provided the rental house, He provided me with a way to bring in an income while staying home, He provided us with the opportunity to raise our family HERE like we've always wanted. He is faithful and He will provide a buyer and then a new home here. God is good, all the time.

In the meantime, we wait and we trust until we know the new plan. I'll keep you posted.

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