Pity Party Alert

Somehow, without warning, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Actually I think I woke up just fine, on the right side of the bed and everything. All the stuff that put me in a mood happened after I'd been up a while. It was totally without warning. Out of the blue all sorts of stuff started making me aggravated and frustrated and blah.

First, my clothes didn't fit right. Specifically my denim capris. And it really made me bummed. I complained to Terrell and had a little pity party first thing.

Then I went to gather up all of the boys' Easter bucket goodies before my little guys woke up so I could get everything organized and make a picture so I'd always remember what was inside their buckets, because that's so important and everything (not)... and I realized we have very little for them this year. Like only a few things. Not even enough to fill up their buckets good. And that made me feel inadequate and insecure and even sort of sad. I mean money is tight and I never want to waste money on stuff they won't play with or get use out of just to fill up an Easter bucket, but couldn't we do better than a few things?? I guess since we had picked up an item here and there for like a month, we thought we had more.

Then I went to the wrong CVS to pick up pictures. (Which wasn't my fault by the way. Not that that matters or changes anything.)

Then I called for the 4th time this week to see if our Scholastic book order (that we ordered through Garrison's preschool) came in yet because we ordered both of the boys a book for their Easter bucket. Still hasn't come in. Guess those books will be after Easter surprises. Sigh.

Then we had ourselves a crazy adventure at lunch. Austin tried to escape the bumbo seat that was on top of the table. Scaredmetodeath. Can't leave him alone for a second! Then he scooted all over the place getting into stuff (specifically Garrison's itty bitty toys that aren't safe for Austin who puts everything directly into his mouth upon discovery) while Garrison and I finished our lunch.

Ahhh... and ever since there's been a cloud of negativity hovering over me. I think I need an attitude adjustment. If only it were as simple as typing out the words. That would be nice. Or maybe a good cry to get the full blown pity party over and done with. But I'm feeling sort of like Amanda Woods, Cameron Diaz's character in The Holiday, when she just can't make herself cry. It just won't happen at the moment. (Remembering those scenes just made me chuckle. Yay.)

On the bright side, Garrison and I enjoyed an educational indoor egg hunt this morning while Austin napped. And we had a pleasant experience at the grocery store. (Austin rode up front for the first time while Garrison walked beside me holding onto the buggy. I only needed a few things and they both did great.) And we decided I'll go look for one or two more items for their buckets tonight. And it's naptime.

I really should work on being more laid back. And keeping my focus on the real meaning of Easter instead of feeling disappointed or insecure about Easter buckets. And being more flexible. And giving thanks in all circumstances. Whoa. I've got lots of work to do after my pity party's over.