A while back I wrote about some of our naptime and bedtime struggles with Garrison that we were having a hard time figuring out. It was one of those things we couldn't quite put our finger on and it was becoming frustrating for all of us. Now that we've hopefully reached a really good solution, I wanted to update. I'll probably never go through this with Austin because of him being the 2nd born and him having to adjust to an older sibling's schedule, but I still wanted to document just in case.
Garrison has always been a great sleeper in general and has always taken an afternoon nap... until we got closer to age 4. Then he'd only fall asleep once a week or so. Then we had a stretch where he fell asleep every other day. Then he couldn't fall asleep at night on the days he napped. Then we decided if he did fall asleep during naptime I needed to make sure he only slept 45 minutes to an hour. Not a minute over an hour or it would effect him going to sleep at bedtime.
Throughout our stretch with various "issues", naptime itself remained the same and remained important. We all needed a quiet, by ourself time each afternoon. It gave everyone a chance to rest and get rejuvenated. It gave me a chance to do things around the house, take care of some school related things, or just take a few minutes to do something for myself. And it gave the boys a chance to rest. Austin still clearly needs a nap, but for Garrison he just needs time to rest and be alone. He has pretty much always needed this time so I'm going to keep it up as long as I can.
Once we determined naps were interfering with bedtime I changed things up and had him rest in his bed for a stretch and then if he didn't fall asleep I would let him get up and play in his room or come to the living room to watch a show. That worked really well for weeks. Except almost every time he fell asleep during naptime, no matter how short the nap was, he had a hard time going to sleep that night. Ugh. But the fact that he still fell asleep occasionally during naptime had me convinced he still needed to nap on those days. Obviously he was tired and needed that sleep and rest. Right??
Then came last month. The month we found ourselves engaged in a bedtime battle every single night. Stalling was at an all time high. Calling for us after we left his room and told him goodnight was at an all time high. Him not wanting us to leave his room was becoming a regular thing. It was just out of control. Translation: We felt like we weren't in control anymore and it was driving us crazy!
I think we've always had really good bedtime routine, and I've always enjoyed it. I love reading to him and praying with him, and we've even started a little "talking time" where we talk about a couple of things that happened that day or a couple of things we're looking forward to the next day. I treasure all of it and think it's pretty important. I know one day my big boy isn't going to sit in my lap and let me read to him at bedtime. I know it's a special time, and I try really hard not to rush through it. But I'm also tired by the end of the day and truly believe bedtime shouldn't last 30 minutes (or longer!) night after night after night. He also shouldn't need to call for us because of not being able to fall asleep or needing a sip of drink or needing to go potty every single night.
So finally I made the executive decision to do away with naps. To put a stop to them altogether. It was a tough decision because I feel guilty trying to keep him from napping when some days I knew he was tired enough to fall asleep. But I eventually started to realize the root of all our bedtime issues came down to him not being able to fall asleep at night. He was never fully settled at bedtime even after reading 2 books, praying, talking, getting something drink, etc. He was still restless. So it was time and it was best to do away with napping during naptime.
Now Garrison has a different kind of naptime. (Because everybody having some alone time and quiet time is still required.) Now, we still read a few books in his bed and get all comfy, BUT, he doesn't have to stay in his bed after we finish reading. I still give him the option to lay down for a while if he's feeling tired, and he actually did fall asleep the day he felt the worst when he had strep, but every other day he always gets out of bed and chooses things to do.
Everyday I give him options of things he can play with in his room for his "quiet time". He can color/draw, play with stickers, put puzzles together, play with play doh, build with magnets, or read books. After he's done one of those things he can play his mobigo if it's still not time for him to come out of his room. I think there's only been one day that he's played with the mobigo so I've been really happy that his other options are so engaging.
This new way of doing things has worked great! The only thing we've had to adjust to is him calling for me if he needs help with a puzzle or wants to know how to draw something or wants to give me the picture he made of stickers. So we're still working on him not calling me every 10 minutes. The other thing is cleaning up. There's always a bit of a mess when I go in to tell him rest time/quiet time is over... and so he always asks me to help him clean it up. He's a really good cleaner-upper so I can't complain except that I'd really like the clean up to be his responsibility. Then if it isn't perfect or exactly like I want it, I can go behind him later. I don't know... maybe that's asking too much. I'll probably test it out and see how it goes soon.
The best part is the change we've noticed at bedtime. The bedtime battles have decreased dramatically. Praise the Lord! We still have our occasional issue but for the most part every single night has gone so much smoother since starting the different naptime. He doesn't stall as much. He rarely calls for us after we leave his room. He's just way more settled and ready for bed which means he's falling asleep way faster. That has been the biggest blessing!
We are so thankful for our new and improved naptime!
Now if we could just get him to bed at a decent hour after baseball...
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