The Decision

***** You'll need some time on your hands before you read this. Longestpostever. *****

It's finally time for me to write about the decision. The decision that was talked about and prayed about and thought about tons. The decison to go back to work.

For almost as long as I can remember I've wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. It was my dream even before we got married and had kids. I knew that it would be a long shot more than likely, but I always felt really strongly about it and always communicated that to Terrell. Especially after we got married and I started teaching. Especially then.

Because after teaching for a few years I knew I wanted to stay home. I never wanted to choose between my students and my children, my job and my family. But most importantly, I also felt and believed that being at home with my (at the time) future children was my true calling.

That's when my hard working, money managing husband went to work. We saved a lot of money. We found something I could do to bring in an income while staying home. (Thank you Lord for Premier!) And we became super frugal.

A lot of sacrifices have been made so that I could be home the past 3 years. My husband has worked extra hard to make sure we've always had enough and that we could even save some money during my time at home. He has been amazing and supportive and the best financial advisor ever.

During my time at home we started planning our grocery list around what was on sale. And watching our thermostat. And being okay with hand-me-downs and consignment shop clothes for the boys. And rarely shopping for ourselves. And doing "staycations" versus weekend getaways. And choosing our out-to-eat places wisely. And watching almost every dollar (I would say penny, but I don't think we've been that frugal). And every single sacrifice and tight month and cute outfit I did without were SO worth it.

I have LOVED being home with my boys. The past 3 years have been the happiest, most stress-free years of my life (that I can remember anyway!). They have been wonderful. I've had tough days and I've been frustrated and boy have I been tired, but I've never dreaded a Monday. (Except for maybe the Mondays after getting back from our vacations to the beach for a week.)

I've enjoyed letting them sleep til they wake up. I've enjoyed going to the grocery store on Monday mornings. I've enjoyed automatically being home with them when they're sick. I've enjoyed witnessing every little milestone. I've enjoyed unlimited play time. I've enjoyed being their first teacher. I've enjoyed it all SO much and feel extremely blessed that I've had this opportunity.

But....here it comes.... this past Fall, we reached a point of realizing it would be extremely hard to continue to make ends meet on the income we have coming in. Our frugality might not be enough for the long haul. We could get by using money from our savings occasionally (something we hadn't had to do at all over the past 3 years). We could get by as long as no unexpected expenses came up. (That's crazy talk. Of course unexpected expenses will come up). We could get by until we needed a new car. Or decided to have baby #3. But in addition to things being "tight" we'd also be at risk for having to regularly dip into our savings or go into some possible credit card debt. Gasp!

Sooo, we started discussing our options and what was best for our family. And let me tell you, it is HARD determining what's best for your family when you're deciding between things you believe are equally important. Talk about stressing me out! And making me cry. It wasn't fun trying to figure out what we should do and where God was leading us. We had to trust Him big time and let go of control (and our own dreams/desires) before we finally reached a decision we were both at peace with.

The first step would be me hopefully finding a job teaching preschool so I wouldn't be working full time and so I could be on the same schedule as the boys. I sent my resume to the 3 "big" preschools in Covington, desperately hoping that I would get a job at Garrison's school working in Austin's classroom for the upcoming year. (Being away from Austin was one of my biggest concerns and Satan has continued to attack me when it comes to feeling guilty about time away from my youngest).

After waiting it out and almost hitting the panic button, God opened the door at a different school with a great reputation where we already knew a few families, where I would make more per hour than at Garrison's current school, and where the boys would go for FREE. Plus I'll be paid for trainings I attend, any homework I have, etc. Plus our school year is also 2 weeks shorter than Newton County's but we still follow their calendar and get all the breaks. Double yay!!

I'll be teaching 3 year olds on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and Garrison will be in a (different) 5 day a week 3 year old class with the option of attending 3, 4, or 5 days. Which means I'll have some flexibility when it comes to finding some one-on-one time with Austin. There are just so many perks and rewards to this "job" that we are very excited about and have a huge peace about our decision.

Life is going to change though. Me working, even if it is only 15 hours a week, will be a big ole change for our household. No more letting them sleep til they wake up. No more running errands whenever I want. No more having unlimited time for scheduling doctor appointments... and going to Chick-Fil-A to play, and doing laundry, and visiting the library, and vacuuming, and shopping for family members' birthdays and Christmas gifts. Things we've really grown accustomed to. Plus I'll also be doing Premier. One because we need the income it brings in and two because I'd be crazy to give it up. How amazing is it to go out to "work" for a few hours one evening and come home with an average of $200 that same night? Pretty amazing. =)

But it is going to be overwhleming at first. There will be an adjustment period. We'll all have to figure out a brand new normal. (Which of course I've already been thinking about and planning for so things will go just like I want them to. Haha.)

Even though I'm tempted to stress and worry and feel guilty (which I've already done enough of)about this decision and the upcoming changes that will most definitely occur come August, I'm trying instead to focus on being grateful for the opportunity to go to work part time with my children.
Go to work. Part time. With my children.
That alone is enough to put my anxieties to rest. What a huge blessing. What an answered prayer.

Now I'm going to soak up this summer with my babies before a brand new adventure begins.