Tomorrow starts a big weekend for us... and for some reason I feel the need to go ahead and write about it. Most probably won't view it as that big of a deal, but to me this weekend is a very big deal and I feel like by writing about it I'm sort of preparing myself for it and allowing myself to look forward to it rather than be nervous about it. (Once my babies are older, I'll probably look back at this and laugh and wish I could tell myself to chill and relax.)
Terrell and I are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary this weekend (the 4th to be exact) and we decided a while back to use this as an opportunity to spend the weekend together without the little man. Considering we're adding another little man to the family this fall we figured we probably won't have another opportunity like this one for quite some time. Plus, since we've been married we've really tried to get away each year for our anniversary. So far we've been able to almost every year. Anyway, we're not going far but we have made plans for Friday night, just about all day Saturday, and Sunday is still up in the air but the day we're heading home. I'm definitely looking forward to some time away and doing something different and focusing more on myself and my husband rather than "mama and daddy". We're actually planning to see a movie together... something we realized we haven't done since last July. How crazy is that? That simple fact makes me feel like we should get out more. It should be fun and relaxing, and a great way to celebrate and spend time together.
Okay, here comes the big deal part. In order for us to go away overnight and have an entire weekend to ourselves, we had to make speical arrangements for Garrison. This is not something I'm extra accustomed to. If we lived in Barnesville 5 minutes from our parents, I'm guessing this wouldn't be such a big deal and Garrison would have already spent the night with them by now. But... since we live an hour away and don't really have a reason to be away from him overnight, he's never spent the night with his grandparents (without us). This weekend will be a first for him. We've been away from him overnight before (last July when I went to Texas and in 2009 when we went away for a night for our anniversary... my parents or sister or mother-in-law just always spent the night at our house). Even though we've been away from him for a couple of days before, it doesn't happen that often so it always brings a little anxiety with it.
I'm not sure why I'm struggling with this or fretting over it. I want to blame it on my personality and the fact that I'm not super laid back like Terrell and at times I have trouble letting go, accepting help, turning over the reins, etc. But I definitely don't want to be that over-protective, over-bearing parent as Garrison grows up. Please do not let that be me. I know he will be well taken care of and have lots of fun and probably not want to leave Granna and Papa's. I know he'll be okay without me for a weekend. It's crazy because I know these things in my heart, but for some reason I still allow myself to feel that twinge of anxiety and then dwell on it. I think a big part of it is because they will be keeping him at their house, not ours. Unfortunately our house no longer has a guest room and it just wouldn't be comfortable for them to attempt to spend the weekend at our house. Plus, I know he's old enough and ready to spend the night away from home, the thought of it just makes me nervous. What if we forget to pack something? What if he gets really homesick? What if he's confused about being at Granna and Papa's without us there like he's used to? Oh my. I'm starting to think I'm being ridiculous about all this (something that Terrell has felt from the beginning. ha!) Whatever the reason, I know I'll be sad and probaby still sort of nervous when I leave him tomorrow afternoon. BUT, I'll also be at peace about him staying with Granna and Papa and excited about my anniversary weekend with my hubby. At some point in the future I know we're going to need more time away or at least alone without the kiddos, and Garrison will probably start requesting to spend the night with his grandparents. This weekend will be a good first step for us.... but say a prayer for me anyway please. =)