Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Different

This past weekend was a little wild for us. Terrell had a work party on Friday night and got home after I was in bed. Then Austin woke up around 4:00 that morning and Terrell got him back to sleep since my alarm would be going off shortly after. I had a Premier Rally to be at bright and early Saturday... but not before getting lost in downtown Atlanta. (Not fun.) The Rally lasted all day long. We were scattered and going different directions and pretty much worn out the entire first half of the weekend.

*On a happy note, Terrell's Saturday was sort of like a regular day for me. He got the kids up, fed them breakfast, got them dressed, played with them, got Austin down for his nap, did laundry, got Austin up from his nap, went grocery shopping with both boys in tow (yay for super dad!), unloaded and put away groceries, and fed everyone lunch... all before naptime! He sent me a text once he had both boys in bed that said he was spent and asking how I do it. Made me smile SO BIG. Always feels good to be appreciated. =)

While I was away on Saturday with several other moms I noticed how different we all are. Especially me. Ha! While everyone else was enjoying their time "away" (from the kids, responsibilities, chores, etc) and just relaxing and having a good time, I was texting my husband checking on the kids and watching the clock so I could get home to my family. All in all I was antsy.

And it made me feel kinda weird. Maybe cause I am... haha. I know for a fact some of it is owed to my Type A personality and the fact that I'm just not a super laid back person. I want to know what my kids are doing and how they're doing and that everything's okay. I also prefer to be with my family versus away from my family. My kids rarely spend the night away from home. And my husband and I enjoy each other's company...99% of the time anyway. =) We just all like being together.

Don't get me wrong, breaks are needed and necessary. Date nights are extremely important. Naptime is required at my house. I count down the minutes til Terrell Selph comes home pretty much everyday. Most nights bedtime can't come soon enough because I'm so tired and so ready to relax and sit down. But, on Saturday, I just couldn't fully enjoy myself being away all. day. long. I left before the boys were up and before carrying on a conversation with my husband. Not my favorite thing to do. (Thankfully my hubby kept me informed of all the happenings of the day and all 3 of my boys had a good time together.)

I just couldn't help but notice that I appeared to be the "different" one in our group. There very well could've been others who were checking in on their kids and itching to get home to their families like me... come to think of it, there was one other mom I bonded with over this very topic. However, we were the minority it seemed. And sometimes it's so tempting to judge when you have a different opinion or lifestyle than others.

Personally, I just really want to savor my children's childhoods... because they're flying by. I want to experience things with them and make memories and pass on traditions. It's just not my thing to constantly plan time away. We plan an anniversary weekend getaway every year. We try to plan dates fairly regularly. I get together with girlfriends every now and then. But for the most part we're always together. And I like it that way. It's home. It's comfortable. It's us.

Several of the girls in our group made plans to go out to dinner after the Rally to catch up more and hang out, but I just had no interest. I wanted to go home to see my family and be with them after missing them all day. Plus I was tired. (I get tired early these days...gracious.)

Then God opened my eyes to see things from a new perspective when one of the girls said to me, Come eat with us. You eat with your family every night.

Wow. Never looked at it that way before. I see it as being away from my family all day and missing them and ready to get home to see them. Others (not necessarily all others, but some others) see it as a rare opportunity to do something different. For yourself and your friends.

Interesting.

The moral of the story: Even though I chose to go home (because that was in fact doing something for me and we'd already made family dinner plans), I was able to see things from a different perspective. Other people, people I consider friends, have a different perspective and do things different than I would sometimes. And that's okay. There's no reason to feel guilty. There's no reason to feel defensive or judgmental or superior (gulp)... or anything. We're all a little different and that's okay. We parent differently. We choose our time away differently. We do things differently.

The next time I'm faced with a similar situation I'm going to try my best to view things from both perspectives so that instead of being tempted to feel the emotions mentioned above I'll choose to feel supportive... of both ways of doing things. There is no right or wrong, only what works for you and your family. And for that, I am thankful.  

 
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My littlest man is getting tubes in his ears first thing tomorrow morning. Please keep him in your prayers. His mama appreciates it!!

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