The "B" Word...

... Bribery that is. Before I make a confession, in my defense, I don't use bribery constantly, regularly, or even daily. And it's not always premeditated. Sometimes I'm unaware I'm using it until it's too late. I'm really, really concerned about getting my sweet 3 year old to obey me because it's the right thing to do. That's a biggie to me. He's learning right from wrong (and all about consequences), and he needs to obey because it's right and good and pleasing to his parents and to Jesus.

I'm always analyzing my parenting and questioning myself and praying for wisdom on how to handle the issues that arise on a regular basis. And I'm always hoping and praying that I'm doing it right and he won't be scarred because of my mistakes or impatience or lack of discipline/correction or too much discipline/correction.

Believe me, I do not like bribery, because when used, it gets me questioning or analyzing or stressing all the more.

However, I have been known to use it. And there are actually times when the "B" word is totally premeditated, usually in the span of 3 seconds, and I do it anyway. Oh my. It's called desperation. I use it when I'm desperate. If Austin is screaming crying and needs my immediate attention and Garrison isn't listening to me and doing what I've asked, I'm desperate. If supper could burn if Garrison doesn't hurry up and obey me, I'm desperate. If we're going to be late to school or an appointment because Garrison is refusing to listen, I'm desperate. If I'm about to completely lose my patience and potentially mishandle things in a bad way, I'm desperate. Goodness, that sounds like I might be desperate a lot.

I guess it just bothers me to have to use what I feel like is bribery. It makes me nervous that my child will grow up expecting something good, like a tangible reward, for doing the right thing, when in reality the "reward" of doing the right thing is a clear conscience and peace of mind and knowing God is pleased with you... all things he can't really understand or grasp at this age. Unless he can? All this questioning is going to make me crazy!

Ready for the main confession of this post? It took me forever to get here, but yesterday bribery (really don't like that word cause it just sounds guilty) was used... and was premeditated for 1.5 seconds. Garrison was really tired when I picked him up from school. He was so tired, he was melting. That's what I like to call the downward spiral of my child's ability to reason, listen, or hold himself together without falling apart. I could sense he was in need of a good nap big time. But I also knew we needed to meet my sister in Jackson, 30 minutes away, later that afternoon. In other words, if I didn't get the naptime show on the road, I would be forced to wake him up early, sacrificing any chance of a good nap and happy little man, so we could go meet AnAn... and have ice cream at Brusters as a perk.

In the midst of the melting that was occurring, desperate for naptime to get started and my little man to be rescued from his potentially terrible afternoon, I blurted out he needed to get himself together and get ready for his nap so wecangohaveicecreamwithAnAnlater. Oops. That caught his attention quick, and after avoiding another couple mini meltdowns, naptime was under way and my little man was sleeping soundly dreaming of ice cream with AnAn.

This is his "ummmmm" face

Garrison loved his ice cream, loved having an afternoon visit with AnAn, and loved being well rested. Okay, maybe that last part should say, and mama loved him being well rested. He loved it too, he just didn't know it. And I didn't beat myself up over the use of bribery this time. It was for the greater good after all.