This has taken me a few days to write, and it's pretty long and kind of personal, but in a way I feel like by putting it out there it will help hold me accountable and serve as a reminder about how I reached this decision and why I'm working hard to follow through on it.
I am now officially participating in a 30 day challenge that I hope leads me to some lifestyle changes. I think I'm on day 8 but I'm trying not to count days because I want this to be a long-term thing. It has nothing to do with dieting, even though that's how it sounds. I'm sure I'll need some kind of dieting challenge come this fall, but as for now I'm enjoying eating a lot of pretty much whatever I want... without getting crazy. I can't have ice cream twice a day every day, even if I am tempted occasionally.
Anyway, the challenge I'm referring to is a devotion/quiet time challenge. A challenge for my spiritual life and my daily life. A challenge to spend a specific, set-aside part of my day in the Word and in prayer- every day. I discovered the challenge randomly (although I know it couldn't have been completely random because God doesn't do random) through another blog and really felt drawn to it and like I needed to dive in and participate. She had a link on the blog to listen to a lady (I had actually never heard of her) named Nancy Leigh DeMoss speak about the importance of our devotional lives. It was long- over an hour, but I was able to listen to a few minutes here and there and when I finally finished I was determined to participate in the challenge and make some changes.
Just a little background... I have had a devotional time/quiet time off and on daily for a really long time, probably going back to childhood. I've gone through stretches of never missing a single day and stretches of rarely having one. It usually depends on whether or not I'm super attached to my devotional book. Also, I've always done my devotion/quiet time in the evenings before bed. Always. I've never been good at waking up and immediately trying to read something. It just puts me back to sleep. I like to pray every morning while I'm getting ready to start the day, but my official quiet time has always been at night. In the evenings before bed is when I'm typically most relaxed. I've taken care of everything that needs to be done, gotten ready for the next day, and I'm finally ready to get settled in with my devotional book and Bible.
Okay, here comes the lifestyle changes. First of all, as Nancy says, your devotional life must be regular, must be a priority, and must be devotion to God- not devotions that you're checking off your to-do list. Guilty. I have definitely had times when I'm so determined to have a quiet time every single day and not miss one that it's become something I'm just trying to check off my list.
She also talks about how, ideally, it's best for it to be early in your day, and alone without distractions. Again I'm guilty since I definitely don't have mine early in the day. She also had a solution for those of us who don't consider ourselves morning people. Go to bed earlier. My family probably thinks this one is funny because I already go to bed pretty early, especially compared to my hubby. However, you have to know yourself and determine for yourself (and your season of life) the best bedtime for waking up the next day at the time you need to. And at times it means rearranging your priorities. (Once Austin arrives I may have to have my quiet time while I'm nursing, or during naptime. Who knows.) When I was teaching I was asleep before 10:00 every night... because I knew the alarm would be going off around 5:00 and I would feel horrible if I didn't go to bed that early. It was a priority. Now that I've been home for 2 years it seems like my bedtime is creeping back later and later and I'm paying for it the next day when I'm wiped out by naptime. So one of my lifestyle changes in an effort to prioritize my morning quiet time is an earlier bedtime.
She also recommends journaling. Even though this takes a little time, I definitely see the benefits of it. Keeping a journal gives you an opportunity to jot down what you're learning, how you're applying it, prayer requests, praises, etc. So far I've enjoyed jotting down (not writing a paragraph) a Bible verse that's really stood out to me or that I've prayed, my prayer requests for the day and the more long-term ones, and praises and blessings I'm thankful for. Writing some things down has actually helped guide my devotion time and keep me on track (instead of letting myself get distracted or my mind wander when I'm supposed to be praying or reading the Bible). Another change- journaling through my quiet time.
The 3 aspects you must have during your quiet times are: reading of the Word (there is absolutely no substitute for God's Word, even though I can forget this sometimes and even though there are some really good devotional books out there) praises, and prayer. I love that. So simple and to the point, nothing crazy or elaborate or intimidating. So far, this is what I'm doing every morning and so far it's working out pretty good. I did order Nancy's book "A Place of Quiet Rest" and just started reading it so hopefully that will be an even better guide for me. I have to admit that it's sometimes really difficult to just open up the Bible and know what to read or where to start. I'm hoping her book will give me some starting places and some direction on Scripture reading.
One of the things that really led me to not only take the challenge but to make some lifestyle changes in order for this to last much longer than 30 days was something she said near the end of her session. I can't remember it word for word but I jotted down the jist of it. If you don't seek God and truly know Him in the "light" and when things are good, you will trip and fall and struggle to find Him in times of trouble and distress. Wow. That is so true when you really think about it. If you don't have an intimate relationship with Him when your life is good and things are going along like normal, how can you expect a close relationship with Him when life is hard and unfair and unexpected things happen? How can you truly trust in Him and put your hope and faith in Him when you weren't even really doing that when things were good? These questions really made me think and ultimately led me to make a conscious decision to implement some changes to my daily life in order to make my time alone with the Lord the priority of my day. That part isn't going to be easy. The priority of my day right now is getting to the things on my to-do list... time with Garrison, groceries, laundry, cooking supper, etc. That's one of the reasons I'm not really counting the days. I'm praying that this does become the priority of my day and the changes I need to make become second nature too.
Going to bed earlier so I'm able to set my alarm for 15-20 minutes earlier
Waking up, getting ready (while praying), and having my quiet time
Reading the Bible everyday... and not letting anything replace it
Taking my to-do list before Lord (As Nancy says, "What's on your to-do list may not be on God's to-do list for you")
Becoming aware of His guidance and presence throughout my normal everyday tasks and responsibilities instead of just first thing in the morning or right before bed at night
Okay, one more (technically two) really special people led me to this decision and these changes... Garrison and Austin. It is SO important to me that Garrison and Austin see my relationship with Jesus. That they know He's real and that Terrell and I love Him and pray to Him and have a relationship with Him. We are responsible for raising, training, teaching, etc. our children what it looks like to be a Christian and know Jesus. We have to live this out for them. We can't just talk about it or expect them to see and learn everything at church. We have to be their primary example. It all starts with us, at home. They are going to continuously soak up and take in everything we say and do (we are well aware of this already since Garrison loves to repeat everything we say) and if our relationship with the Lord is distant or lacking, it's going to show through in our words and actions. As Nancy also pointed out, you eventually become like the people you spend time with. Therefore if you want to become like Jesus, you have to spend time with Him. If I continue to spend time with Him daily and make it a priority, it's going to shine through in the things I do, the things my children will see me do.
So there you have it. There are many reasons I'm participating in the challenge (she gave 8 purposes of a devotional life that were really good) but I think the most important reasons are to grow in my relationship with the Lord, and for my children. It's not going to be easy, especially on vacation and busy weekends and time away from home, but I am choosing for it to be a priority. Even if it's only for a few minutes or if it has to be later in the day instead of first thing in the morning, or if I can't journal every single time, etc. Pray for me as I continue with this challenge... and do it yourself. =)
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Garrison's Thoughts on Austin & My Growing Belly
Garrison seems to have already formed a "bond" with his little brother, even though they haven't met yet. He has been really fascinated with my growing belly throughout the pregnancy and loves looking at it, touching it, and his favorite thing to do is get really close to my belly and talk to "Ausin". He has been so precious I just never want to forget his sweet, funny comments to me and his little brother.
The majority of the time he wants to talk to Austin or look at my belly is during his naptime or bedtime routine when we're sitting together on his bed reading books. He usually starts off sitting beside me or across from me while we read but always ends up sitting in my lap about halfway through. That's when he wants to lift my shirt up (the only way he thinks Austin can hear him) to include Austin in our reading of books or singing of songs. And he especially likes seeing and touching my belly.
Below are some of his comments as he leans really close to my bare belly, usually with his mouth touching me as he talks. (I just had to give you that mental picture because it's so precious and funny).
"That's big, mama" (Of course he's referring to my belly and it's so hilarious to hear him say as he touches me with this amused look on his face)
"Ausin make mama big. Garrsin belly not big" (As he compares my belly to his)
"Baby Ausin in mama belly" (This is probably one of the first things he started saying once he caught on that he was going to have a baby brother named Austin)
"Baby Ausin not cry?" (Whenever we are around a baby, he assumes they're going to cry. So this seems to be his way of telling me that Austin isn't like the other babies because he doesn't cry... and he says it like he wants an explanation. Oh goodness. I've tried explaining that Austin doesn't know how to cry yet but that he will most definitely cry once we bring him home.)
"Garrsin sit by Ausin" (Sweet, sweet words to my ears. He usually says this when he's ready to sit in my lap)
"I want baby Ausin listen" (referring to the book we're reading) "Baby Ausin, listen book." (telling his little brother what to do already)
"Hey Ausinnn." (He says this occasionally right after he lifts my shirt up to view my belly).
"Ausin hear us". (I've told him a few times that Austin can hear us when we talk to him and Garrison hasn't forgotten it. He says this to me when we're reading or singing songs. Sometimes he says it with a question in his voice like he needs confirmation from me, and sometimes he says it like he's reminding me in case I forgot. So adorable.)
"Night night Ausin. Time go seep Ausin." (This one melts me every time. He doesn't say it every night, but when he does I could just cry.)
I know Garrison is going to be in for a shock when we bring "Baby Ausin" home, but I hope and pray that he continues to care this much about his little brother as he already does. My parents, grandparents, and in-laws are always telling us how sweet Garrison is (and of course I think so, because he's mine and I'm slightly bias!) however, I also see him at his worst and know that he is very capable of being not so sweet. But, there is something about seeing my 2 year old love and care about his unborn baby brother that is so special and sweet. I mean 2 year olds are very self-centered little people. I know this for a fact. It amazes me that Garrison even acknowledges my growing belly and baby Austin, much less spends time talking to him and "touching" him. (Although he can definitely forget when he's playing and tries to jump into my arms or gets too rough or tries to sit in my lap but instead lands on my stomach.) I'm just so grateful for Garrison's curiosity, gentleness, and love towards Austin and this pregnancy. It makes my heart smile. And, I may even start believing he's almost as sweet as his grandparents say he is. =)
The majority of the time he wants to talk to Austin or look at my belly is during his naptime or bedtime routine when we're sitting together on his bed reading books. He usually starts off sitting beside me or across from me while we read but always ends up sitting in my lap about halfway through. That's when he wants to lift my shirt up (the only way he thinks Austin can hear him) to include Austin in our reading of books or singing of songs. And he especially likes seeing and touching my belly.
Below are some of his comments as he leans really close to my bare belly, usually with his mouth touching me as he talks. (I just had to give you that mental picture because it's so precious and funny).
"That's big, mama" (Of course he's referring to my belly and it's so hilarious to hear him say as he touches me with this amused look on his face)
"Ausin make mama big. Garrsin belly not big" (As he compares my belly to his)
"Baby Ausin in mama belly" (This is probably one of the first things he started saying once he caught on that he was going to have a baby brother named Austin)
"Baby Ausin not cry?" (Whenever we are around a baby, he assumes they're going to cry. So this seems to be his way of telling me that Austin isn't like the other babies because he doesn't cry... and he says it like he wants an explanation. Oh goodness. I've tried explaining that Austin doesn't know how to cry yet but that he will most definitely cry once we bring him home.)
"Garrsin sit by Ausin" (Sweet, sweet words to my ears. He usually says this when he's ready to sit in my lap)
"I want baby Ausin listen" (referring to the book we're reading) "Baby Ausin, listen book." (telling his little brother what to do already)
"Hey Ausinnn." (He says this occasionally right after he lifts my shirt up to view my belly).
"Ausin hear us". (I've told him a few times that Austin can hear us when we talk to him and Garrison hasn't forgotten it. He says this to me when we're reading or singing songs. Sometimes he says it with a question in his voice like he needs confirmation from me, and sometimes he says it like he's reminding me in case I forgot. So adorable.)
"Night night Ausin. Time go seep Ausin." (This one melts me every time. He doesn't say it every night, but when he does I could just cry.)
I know Garrison is going to be in for a shock when we bring "Baby Ausin" home, but I hope and pray that he continues to care this much about his little brother as he already does. My parents, grandparents, and in-laws are always telling us how sweet Garrison is (and of course I think so, because he's mine and I'm slightly bias!) however, I also see him at his worst and know that he is very capable of being not so sweet. But, there is something about seeing my 2 year old love and care about his unborn baby brother that is so special and sweet. I mean 2 year olds are very self-centered little people. I know this for a fact. It amazes me that Garrison even acknowledges my growing belly and baby Austin, much less spends time talking to him and "touching" him. (Although he can definitely forget when he's playing and tries to jump into my arms or gets too rough or tries to sit in my lap but instead lands on my stomach.) I'm just so grateful for Garrison's curiosity, gentleness, and love towards Austin and this pregnancy. It makes my heart smile. And, I may even start believing he's almost as sweet as his grandparents say he is. =)
A picture of the sweet big brother I'm bragging on from earlier today at the pool.
Monday, June 6, 2011
Anniversary Weekend
Terrell and I were able to celebrate our 6th anniversary over the weekend by having a weekend away in Atlanta. We had a great time and we can't thank Granna, Papa, and AnAn enough for keeping both babies for us the entire weekend. Hopefully Bailey and Garrison weren't too big of a handful! From what I heard, everyone had a great time this weekend and I couldn't have been more happy with how things went for all of us. =)
As you know, I was a little apprehensive about leaving Garrison for a whole weekend at my parent's house. There was just something about him staying overnight somewhere else without us that made me nervous. Anyway, I drove him down to Barnesville on Friday afternoon after his nap and tried to talk to him about the weekend and how much fun he was going to have, etc. We had been telling him that mama and daddy were going on a date and that Garrison would get to stay at Granna and Papa's and spend the night with them. Well on the way down to Barnesville he told me a couple of times "mama daddy no go on date". Oh goodness. That really had me stressing at first. I didn't know if I'd be able to leave him if he was upset. But I just changed the subject or started telling him about all the fun stuff he'd be able to do at their house. Then of course once we got there he was fine. I got him settled in and unpacked a few of his things and tried to hang around for a little while before leaving. This is a picture of him before I left. He was a happy little man and had absolutely no trouble telling me bye. It made leaving him way easier.
Friday night Terrell and I had planned a date night before waking up and leaving for Atlanta on Saturday. We enjoyed going out to eat and taking our time and talking SO much. We haven't been able to talk that much in a long time. It was funny because we actually talked a lot about Garrison and Austin. Friday night after we got home and finished packing for the next day, I started to miss Garrison... and even feel a little emotional/hormonal. I was trying my hardest not to call my mom, but Terrell told me to go ahead if I wanted to... and that was all it took before I started dialing! My mom said she was expecting my call. I'm that predictable. Garrison's night went great and I felt so much more at ease after talking to her and hearing what they did that night and how he'd been for bedtime. After that talk I knew he was okay, I was okay, and I'd be okay for the rest of the weekend.
Saturday morning we started our day with a tour of Turner Field. We are both really big Braves fans and I had heard about the tour from a friend of mine, so we decided to try it out. We really enjoyed it and these are the only pictures we took the entire weekend.
Before going in the Braves Clubhouse
The Clubhouse!
We weren't allowed to go in and view their lockers up close, so a security guard made this picture of Brian McCann's locker for us
and this one of Chipper Jones'
We also got to go in the dugout
and on the field... just not on the grass
It was a really neat tour and we got to go places inside the stadium we never would have been able to otherwise. I loved going in the broadcast booth and press boxes and especially loved seeing a suite. I would love to watch a game from a suite. Ahhh... a girl can dream.
As you know, I was a little apprehensive about leaving Garrison for a whole weekend at my parent's house. There was just something about him staying overnight somewhere else without us that made me nervous. Anyway, I drove him down to Barnesville on Friday afternoon after his nap and tried to talk to him about the weekend and how much fun he was going to have, etc. We had been telling him that mama and daddy were going on a date and that Garrison would get to stay at Granna and Papa's and spend the night with them. Well on the way down to Barnesville he told me a couple of times "mama daddy no go on date". Oh goodness. That really had me stressing at first. I didn't know if I'd be able to leave him if he was upset. But I just changed the subject or started telling him about all the fun stuff he'd be able to do at their house. Then of course once we got there he was fine. I got him settled in and unpacked a few of his things and tried to hang around for a little while before leaving. This is a picture of him before I left. He was a happy little man and had absolutely no trouble telling me bye. It made leaving him way easier.
Friday night Terrell and I had planned a date night before waking up and leaving for Atlanta on Saturday. We enjoyed going out to eat and taking our time and talking SO much. We haven't been able to talk that much in a long time. It was funny because we actually talked a lot about Garrison and Austin. Friday night after we got home and finished packing for the next day, I started to miss Garrison... and even feel a little emotional/hormonal. I was trying my hardest not to call my mom, but Terrell told me to go ahead if I wanted to... and that was all it took before I started dialing! My mom said she was expecting my call. I'm that predictable. Garrison's night went great and I felt so much more at ease after talking to her and hearing what they did that night and how he'd been for bedtime. After that talk I knew he was okay, I was okay, and I'd be okay for the rest of the weekend.Saturday morning we started our day with a tour of Turner Field. We are both really big Braves fans and I had heard about the tour from a friend of mine, so we decided to try it out. We really enjoyed it and these are the only pictures we took the entire weekend.
Sitting in the Coca-Cola seats at Sky Field
Before going in the Braves Clubhouse
The Clubhouse!
We weren't allowed to go in and view their lockers up close, so a security guard made this picture of Brian McCann's locker for us
and this one of Chipper Jones'
We also got to go in the dugout
and on the field... just not on the grass
Standing in the dugout
It was a really neat tour and we got to go places inside the stadium we never would have been able to otherwise. I loved going in the broadcast booth and press boxes and especially loved seeing a suite. I would love to watch a game from a suite. Ahhh... a girl can dream.
After the tour we left Turner field and had lunch at the Varsity. Yummy. Again we took our time and talked a lot.
Once we finished lunch we went over to Atlantic Station to shop around a little and see a movie. We knew when we planned this trip we would need something to do inside with air condition since I'd be 6 months pregnant... and a movie was perfect. We went to see Fast Five and we both really liked it. We wanted to see a movie we'd both enjoy and this was the safest pick. Hopefully we can fit in at least one more movie before Austin arrives.
After the movie we checked into our hotel, The Ritz Carlton. SO nice. We discovered a deal that included parking and breakfast with a one-night stay. I'm very thankful my extremely money conscious husband made our weekend so special with a super nice hotel. However, it can be awkward to be waited on constantly if you're not used to it. More than once Terrell said he thought he was more of a Holiday Inn Express kind of guy. =) We had dinner at the Buckhead Diner and then went to Bruster's for ice cream. Saturday turned out perfect. And, we got to talk to our little man. He was so busy he didn't even really want to talk. It was sort of reassuring that he didn't miss us. I would have felt horrible if he was homesick.
Sunday morning we enjoyed our breakfast at the Atlanta Grill (the hotel restaurant) before checking out and going down to McDonough to shop and spend some of our giftcards. Shopping without Garrison is definitely easier than with him. We enjoyed our time together away and even "reflected" on our 6 years of married life. Who knew when we got married that 6 years later we'd be living in Covington with a 2 year old little boy and another one on the way? God has blessed us so much!
When we got to my parent's house about mid-afternoon yesterday, Garrison was napping. It gave us a chance to hear all about his fun-filled weekend. He got to have El Durango, go to the Georgia Aquarium, eat at Chick-Fil-A, raid Papa's Little Debbie truck, play outside, go to church, and most importantly, spend every waking moment with Papa, Granna, and AnAn. He had so much fun. Anna sent me pictures of him at the Aquarium and on the Little Debbie truck. I loved seeing what he was doing throughout the weekend. When Granna woke him up from his nap he wasn't even excited to see us. I didn't take it personal... although running into my arms would've been nice. Maybe next time. Once he was awake good he seemed happy to see us and thankful he got to go home with us. The weekend went great for everyone... now we have to decide if everyone will be up for it this time next year when 2 little boys plus a hyper mini schnauzer come with the deal. =)
Thanks again to everyone who made our weekend away possible! And Happy Anniversary to my very best friend, I love you!!!
Thanks again to everyone who made our weekend away possible! And Happy Anniversary to my very best friend, I love you!!!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Weekend Plans
Tomorrow starts a big weekend for us... and for some reason I feel the need to go ahead and write about it. Most probably won't view it as that big of a deal, but to me this weekend is a very big deal and I feel like by writing about it I'm sort of preparing myself for it and allowing myself to look forward to it rather than be nervous about it. (Once my babies are older, I'll probably look back at this and laugh and wish I could tell myself to chill and relax.)
Terrell and I are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary this weekend (the 4th to be exact) and we decided a while back to use this as an opportunity to spend the weekend together without the little man. Considering we're adding another little man to the family this fall we figured we probably won't have another opportunity like this one for quite some time. Plus, since we've been married we've really tried to get away each year for our anniversary. So far we've been able to almost every year. Anyway, we're not going far but we have made plans for Friday night, just about all day Saturday, and Sunday is still up in the air but the day we're heading home. I'm definitely looking forward to some time away and doing something different and focusing more on myself and my husband rather than "mama and daddy". We're actually planning to see a movie together... something we realized we haven't done since last July. How crazy is that? That simple fact makes me feel like we should get out more. It should be fun and relaxing, and a great way to celebrate and spend time together.
Okay, here comes the big deal part. In order for us to go away overnight and have an entire weekend to ourselves, we had to make speical arrangements for Garrison. This is not something I'm extra accustomed to. If we lived in Barnesville 5 minutes from our parents, I'm guessing this wouldn't be such a big deal and Garrison would have already spent the night with them by now. But... since we live an hour away and don't really have a reason to be away from him overnight, he's never spent the night with his grandparents (without us). This weekend will be a first for him. We've been away from him overnight before (last July when I went to Texas and in 2009 when we went away for a night for our anniversary... my parents or sister or mother-in-law just always spent the night at our house). Even though we've been away from him for a couple of days before, it doesn't happen that often so it always brings a little anxiety with it.
I'm not sure why I'm struggling with this or fretting over it. I want to blame it on my personality and the fact that I'm not super laid back like Terrell and at times I have trouble letting go, accepting help, turning over the reins, etc. But I definitely don't want to be that over-protective, over-bearing parent as Garrison grows up. Please do not let that be me. I know he will be well taken care of and have lots of fun and probably not want to leave Granna and Papa's. I know he'll be okay without me for a weekend. It's crazy because I know these things in my heart, but for some reason I still allow myself to feel that twinge of anxiety and then dwell on it. I think a big part of it is because they will be keeping him at their house, not ours. Unfortunately our house no longer has a guest room and it just wouldn't be comfortable for them to attempt to spend the weekend at our house. Plus, I know he's old enough and ready to spend the night away from home, the thought of it just makes me nervous. What if we forget to pack something? What if he gets really homesick? What if he's confused about being at Granna and Papa's without us there like he's used to? Oh my. I'm starting to think I'm being ridiculous about all this (something that Terrell has felt from the beginning. ha!) Whatever the reason, I know I'll be sad and probaby still sort of nervous when I leave him tomorrow afternoon. BUT, I'll also be at peace about him staying with Granna and Papa and excited about my anniversary weekend with my hubby. At some point in the future I know we're going to need more time away or at least alone without the kiddos, and Garrison will probably start requesting to spend the night with his grandparents. This weekend will be a good first step for us.... but say a prayer for me anyway please. =)
Terrell and I are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary this weekend (the 4th to be exact) and we decided a while back to use this as an opportunity to spend the weekend together without the little man. Considering we're adding another little man to the family this fall we figured we probably won't have another opportunity like this one for quite some time. Plus, since we've been married we've really tried to get away each year for our anniversary. So far we've been able to almost every year. Anyway, we're not going far but we have made plans for Friday night, just about all day Saturday, and Sunday is still up in the air but the day we're heading home. I'm definitely looking forward to some time away and doing something different and focusing more on myself and my husband rather than "mama and daddy". We're actually planning to see a movie together... something we realized we haven't done since last July. How crazy is that? That simple fact makes me feel like we should get out more. It should be fun and relaxing, and a great way to celebrate and spend time together.
Okay, here comes the big deal part. In order for us to go away overnight and have an entire weekend to ourselves, we had to make speical arrangements for Garrison. This is not something I'm extra accustomed to. If we lived in Barnesville 5 minutes from our parents, I'm guessing this wouldn't be such a big deal and Garrison would have already spent the night with them by now. But... since we live an hour away and don't really have a reason to be away from him overnight, he's never spent the night with his grandparents (without us). This weekend will be a first for him. We've been away from him overnight before (last July when I went to Texas and in 2009 when we went away for a night for our anniversary... my parents or sister or mother-in-law just always spent the night at our house). Even though we've been away from him for a couple of days before, it doesn't happen that often so it always brings a little anxiety with it.
I'm not sure why I'm struggling with this or fretting over it. I want to blame it on my personality and the fact that I'm not super laid back like Terrell and at times I have trouble letting go, accepting help, turning over the reins, etc. But I definitely don't want to be that over-protective, over-bearing parent as Garrison grows up. Please do not let that be me. I know he will be well taken care of and have lots of fun and probably not want to leave Granna and Papa's. I know he'll be okay without me for a weekend. It's crazy because I know these things in my heart, but for some reason I still allow myself to feel that twinge of anxiety and then dwell on it. I think a big part of it is because they will be keeping him at their house, not ours. Unfortunately our house no longer has a guest room and it just wouldn't be comfortable for them to attempt to spend the weekend at our house. Plus, I know he's old enough and ready to spend the night away from home, the thought of it just makes me nervous. What if we forget to pack something? What if he gets really homesick? What if he's confused about being at Granna and Papa's without us there like he's used to? Oh my. I'm starting to think I'm being ridiculous about all this (something that Terrell has felt from the beginning. ha!) Whatever the reason, I know I'll be sad and probaby still sort of nervous when I leave him tomorrow afternoon. BUT, I'll also be at peace about him staying with Granna and Papa and excited about my anniversary weekend with my hubby. At some point in the future I know we're going to need more time away or at least alone without the kiddos, and Garrison will probably start requesting to spend the night with his grandparents. This weekend will be a good first step for us.... but say a prayer for me anyway please. =)
24 Weeks
Saturday was the 24 week mark for us but I wanted to wait until my doctor's appointment yesterday before updating. Garrison went with me and it was quite an experience. It was supposed to be a simple, quick appointment but unfortunately they were extremely short-staffed (I'm guessing due to Memorial Day and people being off) so we had some long waits... in the waiting room and the examining room. The little man became really restless and I wasn't sure if we would make it through the appointment or not. Thankfully he did great while the midwife was in the room with me. He just didn't handle all the waiting so well. Anyway, here's my 24 week update:
Pregnancy Highlights
How Far Along: 24 Weeks
Size of Baby: 12-13 inches and about 1 and 1/3 lbs... still about the size of a papaya
Total Weight Gained/Loss: I've gained 17 lbs total. Whoa. It seems like so much, but I think I'm pretty much on pace to gain about the same amount of weight this pregnancy as I did with Garrison... which I think I'm okay with. The midwife was very reassuring and even glad I'd gained 17... me, not so much.
Maternity Clothes: I think everything but my comfy clothes are maternity now.
Gender: It's a boy!
Movement: He is still really active, especially in the evenings and before bed.
Food Cravings: Ice cream, popsicles, anything cold, and chocolate chip cookies are pretty high on the list too (looking at this list it's easy to see how I've gained 17 lbs!)
What I Miss: Not a whole lot, just being able to do things with Garrison without putting a strain on my back or feeling out of breath.
Sleep: I'm sleeping pretty good, although the strange dreams are back and keeping me from enjoying a deep, uninterrupted sleep.
Symptons: Twinges in my back, easily tired, slower moving (haha!)
Best Moment This Week: Terrell finally felt Austin kick a few times!
What I'm Looking Forward To: Our weekend away to celebrate our anniversary and enjoy time together (just the 2 of us, plus Austin) before we get ready to become a family of 4 =)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Memorial Day Weekend
Memorial Day weekend was a fun "staycation" for us. It started Friday night when we made the trip to Barnesville for a cook-out at my Nanny's with my dad's side of the family. It has been so hard lately for us to get together with my Nanny plus see everyone on that side of the family, so we decided to go ahead and make the trip down and come home after eating. Garrison had a ball. He loved playing with his cousins Justin and Walt and enjoyed 3 different trips on Nanny's golf cart. We enjoyed spending time with Nanny and catching up with everybody. Even though the little man was very talkative and wide awake on the way home late Friday night, he did really good going to bed and afterwards we knew we made the right decision by going.
On Saturday we had company for most of the day. My dad came over to bring Terrell a lawn mower and play golf and my sister came over with her dog to have her trimmed for the summer. We all ate lunch together at Chick-Fil-A before the guys left to play golf and Garrison got in some play time. Then Anna's friend Lauren and her baby, Avery, came over. We all spent the afternoon together hanging out and talking before Anna and Lauren had to leave and the guys finished their golf game. It was a fun day for us and thankfully the little man took an extra long nap. I think getting in bed at 10:30 the night before had caught up with him!
Sunday we decided to go swimming at our subdivision pool since the weather was so nice and it had just opened up. We also noticed last weekend at a birthday pool party that Garrison seemed a little apprehensive about swimming and getting wet (so we are really wanting him exposed to the water before we leave for vacation in 3 weeks). On Sunday it took him quite a while to sit on the edge and put his feet in, but once he finally did and had a few minutes to get adjusted to the idea we were able to get him in his float and all over the pool just fine.
He had a lot of fun swimming and probably would have stayed in the water longer if it wasn't time for us to leave and have lunch. He took another good nap on Sunday and I started to feel a little better about all the naptime craziness.
Mama and Garrison (and Austin!)
Our attempt at a family picture before leaving...
On the way to the game (He was saying, "no make picture mama")
Even though it was miserably hot, we viewed the little man's 1st Braves game as a success. I thought I was going to pass out after walking from the car to the stadium to our upper deck seats in the shade, but I made it okay and gulped down a bottle of water once we were seated. We actually weren't quite so miserable as long as we could feel a breeze, but I know we never would have survived if we weren't in the shade. Garrison did really good listening to us and staying in his seat, or right in front of it, basically the whole time. We brought in drinks and snacks with us so that kept him occupied throughout the game. Terrell had to take him to the potty in the 2nd inning, but after that we made it to 6th inning before deciding to get up and stretch our legs and walk Garrison around some. We took him to run to home plate by the Coca-Cola bottle first.
You might have to click on the picture to see it better, but he is taking off running in this one, yelling "mama! mama!"
For some reason about half way through, he decided to stop and tried to turn around and go back the other way. So daddy had to come in and grab him up!
After that we went and got a really big cup of ice cream and took it back to our seats to share. Garrison loved it... and dripped it all over himself. By that point I didn't care I just wanted him content so we could make it to the end of the game. Of course the game was tied in the bottom of the ninth and that's when Garrison said he needed to go potty. We ended up all getting up and making one last trip to the bathroom before heading out.
He also clapped and yelled "Go Baves, Go Baves! Yay Baves!" a lot. I think he definitely had a good time. He even told us once that he wanted to go down on the green to play... meaning the field. Maybe one day he'll be able to run the bases after a game and he can go on the green part.
Even though it was super hot and again I thought I might collapse before we made it back to the car and Garrison had the biggest meltdown ever once we got in the car, overall it was good experience for him. I think he handled the heat better than us. The lessons we learned were that it's probably best to make sure the temperature is 80 or below for next time, and we should probably bring Austin as a baby (before he can walk around or run from us) or just wait unitl he's like 4. =)
On Saturday we had company for most of the day. My dad came over to bring Terrell a lawn mower and play golf and my sister came over with her dog to have her trimmed for the summer. We all ate lunch together at Chick-Fil-A before the guys left to play golf and Garrison got in some play time. Then Anna's friend Lauren and her baby, Avery, came over. We all spent the afternoon together hanging out and talking before Anna and Lauren had to leave and the guys finished their golf game. It was a fun day for us and thankfully the little man took an extra long nap. I think getting in bed at 10:30 the night before had caught up with him!
Sunday we decided to go swimming at our subdivision pool since the weather was so nice and it had just opened up. We also noticed last weekend at a birthday pool party that Garrison seemed a little apprehensive about swimming and getting wet (so we are really wanting him exposed to the water before we leave for vacation in 3 weeks). On Sunday it took him quite a while to sit on the edge and put his feet in, but once he finally did and had a few minutes to get adjusted to the idea we were able to get him in his float and all over the pool just fine.
He had a lot of fun swimming and probably would have stayed in the water longer if it wasn't time for us to leave and have lunch. He took another good nap on Sunday and I started to feel a little better about all the naptime craziness. On Monday we woke up and got ready to take Garrison to his very 1st Braves game. We may have chosen the hottest day of the year but we wanted to go to an afternoon game so it wouldn't be such a late night for him, and it worked out great for Monday because Terrell had the day off.
My two guys ready for the game
My two guys ready for the game
Mama and Garrison (and Austin!)
Our attempt at a family picture before leaving...
On the way to the game (He was saying, "no make picture mama")
Even though it was miserably hot, we viewed the little man's 1st Braves game as a success. I thought I was going to pass out after walking from the car to the stadium to our upper deck seats in the shade, but I made it okay and gulped down a bottle of water once we were seated. We actually weren't quite so miserable as long as we could feel a breeze, but I know we never would have survived if we weren't in the shade. Garrison did really good listening to us and staying in his seat, or right in front of it, basically the whole time. We brought in drinks and snacks with us so that kept him occupied throughout the game. Terrell had to take him to the potty in the 2nd inning, but after that we made it to 6th inning before deciding to get up and stretch our legs and walk Garrison around some. We took him to run to home plate by the Coca-Cola bottle first.
You might have to click on the picture to see it better, but he is taking off running in this one, yelling "mama! mama!"
For some reason about half way through, he decided to stop and tried to turn around and go back the other way. So daddy had to come in and grab him up!
After that we went and got a really big cup of ice cream and took it back to our seats to share. Garrison loved it... and dripped it all over himself. By that point I didn't care I just wanted him content so we could make it to the end of the game. Of course the game was tied in the bottom of the ninth and that's when Garrison said he needed to go potty. We ended up all getting up and making one last trip to the bathroom before heading out.
Garrison learned how to do the tomahawk chop while we were there and did it every time the crowd did.
He also clapped and yelled "Go Baves, Go Baves! Yay Baves!" a lot. I think he definitely had a good time. He even told us once that he wanted to go down on the green to play... meaning the field. Maybe one day he'll be able to run the bases after a game and he can go on the green part.
Even though it was super hot and again I thought I might collapse before we made it back to the car and Garrison had the biggest meltdown ever once we got in the car, overall it was good experience for him. I think he handled the heat better than us. The lessons we learned were that it's probably best to make sure the temperature is 80 or below for next time, and we should probably bring Austin as a baby (before he can walk around or run from us) or just wait unitl he's like 4. =) Terrell grilled when we got home to top off our long weekend and the little man went to bed early. One of the best parts about being at Turner Field on Memorial Day was all of the military appreciation, recognition, and tributes they did. We live in a great country and it's because of the sacrifices of our military and their families. A quote I thought of often throughout the game when they showed service men and women in the stands is "All gave some, some gave All." That is so true and it's very easy to forget. God Bless America, Land That I Love! Happy Memorial Day!
***Breaking news: We are making it official, Garrison is potty trained! Woohoo!! AND, naptimes have been way better! Yay! Thank you Lord for these blessings!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Naptime Craziness
When did I get this long-winded? This is really long. I have got to figure out how to tell a story or write a "journal entry" here without it taking forever, especially before Austin arrives. Gracious.
For the past few days, naptimes have been wild and crazy! Seriously. And challenging. It's really strange how all of a sudden Garrison is super wound up while we get ready for his nap and he's starting to test the limits big time. I don't know where it came from. We had some similar issues when we first transitioned to his big boy bed, but they didn't last but a few days and we've had a great stretch of easy, laid-back, consistent naptimes... typically starting from the moment we turn out the light and pick out a few books to read, to the moment I go back in his room once naptime is over and he's had about a 2 hour nap. Before I go into detail about the wild and crazy stuff, I'm going to give a quick run down of our naptime routine.
Somewhere around 1:00 or 1:30 every afternoon we get ready for his nap by changing him into a pull-up or diaper, turning off his light, picking out a few books to read, and turning on the fan in his room. After all that stuff we both get on his bed and I read the books to him, sing a few songs that he requests, say prayers with him, and then turn on his CD of lullabies (sort of a new thing he's in to) before moving to sit on the end of his bed for just a minute and then telling him goodnight and leaving the room. We always have days where picking out the books can be a chore, or singing the songs can take forever because he keeps changing his mind, or saying prayers takes a while because he keeps thinking of new things to pray about, etc. But for the most part there haven't been any huge issues for quite some time. Then sort of out of the blue things got crazy.
I'm thinking it may have started last Thursday but I can't be positive. I just remember coming home from school with him and it taking him a long time to settle down/calm down and eventually fall asleep. I mean he was wide open while I tried to get him ready to take a nap. (Bouncing around the bed, being silly and loud, etc.) If I'm remembering correctly I think I even made the decision to go back into his room after listening to him sing and play and be loud for at least 30 minutes. After having a little talk with him he went to sleep and ended up taking a pretty good nap. I continued to notice a pattern of him being sort of hyped up while we were getting ready for his naps each day but he always eventually fell asleep so I tried not to make too big of a deal out of it. Until earlier this week.
On Wednesday I had to go back into his room two different times in an attempt to get him to stop playing and calm down so he could fall asleep. He eventually did, but not without first making me want to pull my hair out. He was playing with the blinds, kicking his feet against the wall, standing up on the bed, and even got out of bed once and was trying to peak out the door. So I was beyond frustrated. He had never gotten out of bed by himself without us being in there since like his 3rd day in his new bed. I was actually surprised by it and not sure what to make of it, but thankfully after going to time out and us talking about the fact that he had to stay in bed, he was fine and we didn't have any other issues that day.
Then yesterday tested my patience so much that I started questioning my parenting skills. I'm usually pretty confident about my discipline decisions with him. I work really hard at being consistent, I try to correct inappropriate behavior or at least re-direct him, and I "discipline" defiant behavior with time-out or taking away a toy or making him come inside, etc. I know I'm not perfect and there are always times I look back and wonder if I should have handled situations differently, but usually it's clear to me what to do about a certain behavior and how to best train and/or discipline him. Okay, so back to yesterday. Garrison got out of the bed multiple times and decided to pretty much ignore me. He was just playing away in his room while he was supposed to be in bed taking a nap. I could feel the power shifting to him and it scared me enough to refuse to give it up. Ha! I had a brief moment of panic because I couldn't figure out how to make him stay in bed. He had to go to time-out 2 different times plus listen to me make a big deal about obeying me and doing what I say. It finally occurred to me to threaten him with something bigger but to be prepared to follow through if that's what it came to. Sooo, I told him he didn't have to go to sleep, but he did have to stay in bed and at least try to rest. And if he got out of his bed again before naptime was over, he would have to go back to bed for naptime/rest time after his snack. It was scary to say it out loud and even scarier to think of following through but I sort of went back to my classroom management-teacher mentality. I used to tell my students that if they chose our learning time/work time/class time to play, then they wouldn't play at recess. Oh my was it hard using that same principle on my 2 year old! I still don't know if it was right or wrong. I hope I never have to use it again. But it worked. He didn't get out of bed again and he even took a nap.
Naptime is SO valuable to me (especially entering this summer) that I definitely want to maintain it and not let it slip away. I'm so thankful for advice from moms who have managed to hang on to naptimes/rest times for 4 to 5 years! It's also so, so important to me that Garrison stay in his bed during naptime whether he falls asleep or not. First and foremost I want him to sleep or at the very least rest and chill for a while, but more so than that it really scares me to think of what could happen if I let him do whatever he wanted to and just closed to the door and not worried about him for 2 hours. It feels dangerous. He could hurt himself... or the furniture or walls or clothing (my mind could really wander) and I may or may not know about it until going back in his room. After yesterday I told Terrell we might need to invest in a video monitor. I'm just not sure. Today leading up to naptime was wild and crazy again (this time Terrell was home to witness part of it), but he had absolutely no trouble falling asleep after I left the room. I checked on him after like 10 minutes and he was sound asleep at the foot of his bed. So sweet. It really made me melt after being so frustrated with him less than 30 minutes earlier. Who knows what's going on and what may have triggered this craziness. Maybe it's just part of him being 2. I have no idea. I definitely think I need to go back to praying before naptime! And maybe even go back to changing up our routine or my approach to the wild and crazy behavior. Decisions, decisions.
For the past few days, naptimes have been wild and crazy! Seriously. And challenging. It's really strange how all of a sudden Garrison is super wound up while we get ready for his nap and he's starting to test the limits big time. I don't know where it came from. We had some similar issues when we first transitioned to his big boy bed, but they didn't last but a few days and we've had a great stretch of easy, laid-back, consistent naptimes... typically starting from the moment we turn out the light and pick out a few books to read, to the moment I go back in his room once naptime is over and he's had about a 2 hour nap. Before I go into detail about the wild and crazy stuff, I'm going to give a quick run down of our naptime routine.
Somewhere around 1:00 or 1:30 every afternoon we get ready for his nap by changing him into a pull-up or diaper, turning off his light, picking out a few books to read, and turning on the fan in his room. After all that stuff we both get on his bed and I read the books to him, sing a few songs that he requests, say prayers with him, and then turn on his CD of lullabies (sort of a new thing he's in to) before moving to sit on the end of his bed for just a minute and then telling him goodnight and leaving the room. We always have days where picking out the books can be a chore, or singing the songs can take forever because he keeps changing his mind, or saying prayers takes a while because he keeps thinking of new things to pray about, etc. But for the most part there haven't been any huge issues for quite some time. Then sort of out of the blue things got crazy.
I'm thinking it may have started last Thursday but I can't be positive. I just remember coming home from school with him and it taking him a long time to settle down/calm down and eventually fall asleep. I mean he was wide open while I tried to get him ready to take a nap. (Bouncing around the bed, being silly and loud, etc.) If I'm remembering correctly I think I even made the decision to go back into his room after listening to him sing and play and be loud for at least 30 minutes. After having a little talk with him he went to sleep and ended up taking a pretty good nap. I continued to notice a pattern of him being sort of hyped up while we were getting ready for his naps each day but he always eventually fell asleep so I tried not to make too big of a deal out of it. Until earlier this week.
On Wednesday I had to go back into his room two different times in an attempt to get him to stop playing and calm down so he could fall asleep. He eventually did, but not without first making me want to pull my hair out. He was playing with the blinds, kicking his feet against the wall, standing up on the bed, and even got out of bed once and was trying to peak out the door. So I was beyond frustrated. He had never gotten out of bed by himself without us being in there since like his 3rd day in his new bed. I was actually surprised by it and not sure what to make of it, but thankfully after going to time out and us talking about the fact that he had to stay in bed, he was fine and we didn't have any other issues that day.
Then yesterday tested my patience so much that I started questioning my parenting skills. I'm usually pretty confident about my discipline decisions with him. I work really hard at being consistent, I try to correct inappropriate behavior or at least re-direct him, and I "discipline" defiant behavior with time-out or taking away a toy or making him come inside, etc. I know I'm not perfect and there are always times I look back and wonder if I should have handled situations differently, but usually it's clear to me what to do about a certain behavior and how to best train and/or discipline him. Okay, so back to yesterday. Garrison got out of the bed multiple times and decided to pretty much ignore me. He was just playing away in his room while he was supposed to be in bed taking a nap. I could feel the power shifting to him and it scared me enough to refuse to give it up. Ha! I had a brief moment of panic because I couldn't figure out how to make him stay in bed. He had to go to time-out 2 different times plus listen to me make a big deal about obeying me and doing what I say. It finally occurred to me to threaten him with something bigger but to be prepared to follow through if that's what it came to. Sooo, I told him he didn't have to go to sleep, but he did have to stay in bed and at least try to rest. And if he got out of his bed again before naptime was over, he would have to go back to bed for naptime/rest time after his snack. It was scary to say it out loud and even scarier to think of following through but I sort of went back to my classroom management-teacher mentality. I used to tell my students that if they chose our learning time/work time/class time to play, then they wouldn't play at recess. Oh my was it hard using that same principle on my 2 year old! I still don't know if it was right or wrong. I hope I never have to use it again. But it worked. He didn't get out of bed again and he even took a nap.
Naptime is SO valuable to me (especially entering this summer) that I definitely want to maintain it and not let it slip away. I'm so thankful for advice from moms who have managed to hang on to naptimes/rest times for 4 to 5 years! It's also so, so important to me that Garrison stay in his bed during naptime whether he falls asleep or not. First and foremost I want him to sleep or at the very least rest and chill for a while, but more so than that it really scares me to think of what could happen if I let him do whatever he wanted to and just closed to the door and not worried about him for 2 hours. It feels dangerous. He could hurt himself... or the furniture or walls or clothing (my mind could really wander) and I may or may not know about it until going back in his room. After yesterday I told Terrell we might need to invest in a video monitor. I'm just not sure. Today leading up to naptime was wild and crazy again (this time Terrell was home to witness part of it), but he had absolutely no trouble falling asleep after I left the room. I checked on him after like 10 minutes and he was sound asleep at the foot of his bed. So sweet. It really made me melt after being so frustrated with him less than 30 minutes earlier. Who knows what's going on and what may have triggered this craziness. Maybe it's just part of him being 2. I have no idea. I definitely think I need to go back to praying before naptime! And maybe even go back to changing up our routine or my approach to the wild and crazy behavior. Decisions, decisions.
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