To Nap or Not to Nap...

To nap or not to nap? That is the question.

A question we're struggling with big time when it comes to our firstborn. A question that's leaving us confused and perplexed. A question that's making mama a little crazy some days... and nights. Ahhh.

Are naps still important and necessary for our oldest little man? I know they sure are for his mama. (Meaning his naps, not my naps because that hardly ever happens. Ever.)

Hmmmm.

It's hard to say.

For a while now, a few months I'm guessing, we've struggled with whether or not Garrison still needs a nap. I know he needs some quiet time/rest time/down time. Some time in his room with the light off and his music playing while he lays down and "rests" or sits up playing in bed with his books and flashlighs and animals. I know that for a fact. When he doesn't have what we've always referred to as naptime, even though since turning 3 he doesn't always actually nap, it seems like we're guaranteed to be dealing with a really moody, meltdown-prone, emotional and tired 3 year old in the evenings. So I know he needs the down time. However, over the past few months we've discovered a vicious cycle. It took us a while to figure it out but we think we know for sure now what it is. And it's a pattern we don't like but aren't sure what to do about.

My firstborn has taken an afternoon nap almost every single day his entire life. Up until a little after his 3rd birthday it was pretty much an automatic that he'd fall asleep at naptime. He'd be tired and ready for a nap around 1:00 or 1:30 everyday. After turning 3 we had some stretches of him not falling asleep but still "resting" and having that much needed down time (for everyone). Then we had stretches of him falling asleep automatically again. Then, eventually, we started to notice a pattern.

If Garrison fell asleep at naptime, he had trouble going to sleep that night. Every single time. If he had a nap in the afternoon it was usually after 9:00, sometimes 9:30 before he was able to fall asleep. He'd start by reading his books in bed and talking or singing to himself. Then he'd call for us, tell us he couldn't fall asleep, ask for something to drink, ask for us to stay in his room with him, etc. And we felt so sorry for him. How do you teach your 3 year falling asleep strategies when they're sometimes difficult for adults? (Specifically his daddy. Terrell has really been able to relate to the can't fall asleep situation and has memories from childhood of the same issue.)

So we tried waking him up from his nap by 3:00 no matter what. We tried letting him stay up a little later to watch the Braves with daddy on the couch so we weren't actually putting him to bed til around 8:30 versus his previous bedtime of about 8:00. We tried it all and nothing much seemed to work.

Then we had a stretch of him resting but not falling asleep about 8 out of 10 days during naptime. It was pretty perfect. He still had down time but was also still able to fall right to sleep at night. And, I still had my time. A minute to myself to regroup. A little break in the day. Some time to take care of my Premier to-do list. A time to sit and write for a little bit. And a time to take care of a thing or two around the house that I hadn't been able to take care of while the boys were awake. Like I said, it was pretty perfect.

Then last week, the week after returning from vacation, he fell asleep every single day at naptime. Monday through Friday it took him less than 10 minutes to fall fast asleep. And Monday through Friday he had trouble going to sleep at bedtime and we were in and out of his room trying to figure out ways to help him fall asleep. Even though I woke him up "early" everyday and we let him stay up a little later every night. Ugh. Such a bummer.

Come early afternoon everyday last week, he was clearly tired. He clearly needed a nap if he was falling asleep that fast. But we'd all regret it come bedtime. Not fun.

Then Sunday we had a sort of busy day with swimming and meeting Terrell's side of the family for lunch about 40 minutes away and lots of play time, and he didn't get a nap. So he went to sleep pretty early Sunday night... but woke up around 10 something with a night terror (or whatever you call it). He was screaming crying, sitting up then laying down, kicking his legs, etc but still asleep. It lasted for a few minutes but once he finally calmed down and asked for me, I intervened and we got him something to drink and he went right back to sleep. So then we questioned the "full" day with no down time because in the past that's been a recipe for waking up with a night terror/episode of some kind and it happened again on Sunday.

At this point, we're at a loss. We both believe he needs a rest time at the very least and this helps with cutting down on meltdowns and bad attitudes and possible night terrors, and it also provides me with some much needed time (which I always question because I don't want to be selfish, but I know I need some time to myself to get a little bit accomplished). And I just don't feel right asking my 3 year old to try not to fall asleep. If he's that tired then he should take a nap. I just hate that he pays for it later.

We're not sure where to go from here. I guess I need to get creative about rest time and maybe let him pick out other stuff to put in the bed with him so he can play a little more? I'm still not comfortable letting him play in his room for an extended period of time without me knowing exactly what he's doing. And if I'm having to check on him constantly then neither one of us are getting a break or down time. Maybe I need to get over that. But if he's playing in his room the whole time can you really call it rest time or are we just asking for trouble in the evenings? I have no clue what to do. I want to do what's best for Garrison first and foremost I just have no idea what that is.... to nap or not to nap?

PS. I'm open to ideas! Please help!!